When you think of fate, what is your first thought? The Grand Design, Destiny, Bound to happen? When I think of fate, I think of how every action I take... it eventually desides the heart of my life. I constantly end up flirting with fate, hence the tag. Everything I do, either is because I wanted to do it, or because I chose to do so, even at great cost to myself. Don't get me wrong, I think of how it will effect other people first.

In my day to day life so far I spend a great amount of time with friends. We play MW3 together and also work out together. A good amount of my day is spent around the most wonderful little girl in the world. She has become a huge part in my life. She is not mine, but I am considered an aunt of sorts. Another great amount of my time is spent thinking about a man. We shall simply call me my dark Gandalf for now. We are only friends, and he has asked it to stay that way. Somehow through our short time being friends I fell in love with him. Not obsessive and crazy love. But an apreaciation for who he is and how safe and comfortable I feel around him. I also have an uncanny attraction to him where I swear my skin tingles just being close to him. Now...I have done a fair amount of growing up over the years and I have admitted that being his friend is enough. But tell me this? Why is it that I can't let myself be with another person for fear of him someday wanting me in return? Stupid I know. I'm selling myself short in a sense and I relish in the thought that the one time I spent with another person I found myself comparing the both and imagining said person to be my dark Gandalf. Some may say that I am being obsessive and crazy but I view it as an elite attraction and affection that will be hard to move on from. But also that I must move on.